Footprints

Let me formally introduce my blog which I titled: Just Passing By.

When I first came here to the States, I thought to myself that this will be a temporary arrangement. My husband and I agreed that we'll just give ourselves 5 years to save, make some wise investments, earn our citizenship, then go home. We were living in a cramped 2-bedroom apartment but we decided to stay right where we were. We were not going to make any major purchases, knowing that we won't be able to bring them home anyway. We were transients here in the US and we were going to travel light throughout our stay here.

I guess that temporariness translated to my motivation to make new relationships here as well. In my 3 previous jobs here in the US, I made it a conscious effort to keep my distance. I didn't want to make any close friends. When I sensed that I'm getting closer to some of them, I back off. What's the use of nurturing friendships when I would leave them anyway? I hurt so much when I left my family and friends back home. I missed the easy camaraderie, the closeness, the sense of security that I'm not alone. I miss workweek lunches with my co-workers who were also close friends; celebration lunches with my MA classmates at UP after a particularly tough Saturday session; shawarma nights with my good friend, Lana; and after-work chats with my dentist-turned-bestfriend, Joey. Then I came here and found myself alone and lonely. I spent countless nights crying myself to sleep and months to get used to being alone. I still feel a void. I wouldn't bring that to myself again when I go home.

Then in one of my frequent midnight musings, I realize that even as I'm only passing by, I leave footprints. Do I want to leave shallow footprints? Marks that are easily erased? Do I want people I came in contact with to say "Yeah, I think I remember a certain Kaye...but vaguely." It dawned on me that whether I intend it or not, I leave a mark on somebody else's life and I want that to be a good one.

So now, as I am passing by, I try to leave a footprint in every life that I touch. I would like to think it's a good print, because it has my name all over it!

PS. Oh by the way, we decided to move out of our tiny little apartment and bought a 3-bedroom house. Might as well make the most of our sojourn. After all, life is too short to be waiting for the "someday".

Comments

[chris]

Well remember life is a hi-way Kate, we will always be part time vagabonds and constant travelers in this world, but one thing is for sure, that “home is where the heart is”

And a three bedroom house? Now that’s cool and quite an achievement…wish I had one now….lol

[lucy]

Yes, you did leave a mark on my heart when we were in UP. And whenever I see Ivan Mayrina on TV, you would always cross my mind. I really felt so connected with you when we were in college. Until now, I know the connection is still there. I'm glad i found you again, even with this digital divide, at least we are still connected.